If you caught the SOTU -- apparently the cool way of saying State of the Union Address -- you were probably all STFU because the speech is long... really, really, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally long. No background music, either. What is this, a Jan Švankmajer film?
I don't know if Republicans will be happy with his proposed cuts, but they should support his decision to cut all three-or-more syllable words from his rhetoric:
"No one built this country on their own. This Nation is great because we built it together. This Nation is great because we worked as a team. This Nation is great because we get each other's backs."
This isn't exactly, Hemingway, Mr. President, it's more like a little league coach. Just because the prior President and most Americans have given up on literacy does NOT mean you should! Sure, you might lose a few losers, but who knows, maybe an intellectual approach will cause Americans to blow the cocain dust off that old dictionary and overcome our glorified hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.
Just for comparison here's a single sentence from Teddy Roosevelt's 1904 State of the Union:
"The accomplishment of results by indirection, the endeavor to thwart the intention, if not the expressed letter of the law (the will of the people), a disregard of the rights of others, a disposition to withhold what is due, to force by main strength or inactivity a result not justified, depending upon the weakness of the claimant and his indisposition to become involved in litigation, has created a sentiment harmful in the extreme and a disposition to consider anything fair that gives gain to the individual at the expense of the company."
O, Oration! Uh, what'd he say?
And yet... despite the words written especially simplistic for the especially simplistic, most didn't tune in. After all, there is much to be done: the economy is in shambles and surely every good Johnny American is picking up his boot straps (or bra straps, let's not be sexist) and gettin' things back in motion! That's the American spirit! No talk, all walk! No walk, all run! No run, all jump! No jump, all hump! U-S-A!
Or, more likely, there was a Jersey Shore re-run. Either way, I want everyone to be part of the Democratic process so I have compiled a slightly abridged speech with pictures. Yes, pictures!
"Osama bin Laden is not a threat to this country."
"My grandmother, who worked on a bomber assembly line, was part of a workforce that turned out the best products on Earth."
"What's happening in Detroit can happen in other industries."
"Over a thousand Americans are working today because we stopped a surge in Chinese tires. But we need to do more."
"Higher education can’t be a luxury"
"We have a supply of natural gas that can last America nearly one hundred years, and my Administration will take every possible action to safely develop this energy."
"So much of America needs to be rebuilt. ...An incomplete high-speed broadband network that prevents a small business owner in rural America from selling her products all over the world."
"During the Great Depression, America built the Hoover Dam and the Golden Gate Bridge."
"I'm confident a farmer can contain a milk spill without a federal agency looking over his shoulder."
"Warren Buffett pays a lower tax rate than his secretary."
"Now, you can call this class warfare all you want. ...Most Americans would call that common sense."
"We don't begrudge financial success in this country. We admire it."
"I bet most Americans are thinking the same thing right now: Nothing will get done this year, or next year, or maybe even the year after that..."
"Ending the Iraq war has allowed us to strike decisive blows against our enemies."
"Look at Iran."
"Let there be no doubt: America is determined to prevent Iran from getting a nuclear weapon, and I will take no options off the table to achieve that goal."
"Our oldest alliances in Europe and Asia are stronger than ever."
"To stay one step ahead of our adversaries, I have already sent this Congress legislation that will secure our country from the growing danger of cyber-threats."
"Above all, our freedom endures because of the men and women in uniform who defend it."
"Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America."